The February Free Agent
Greetings Ladies and Gentleman,
I hope all is well and that you're staying warm for the remainder of this lovely time called winter. I know it's been a little over a month since we last spoke, so I owe you all a solid topic of discussion. Not too long ago, we experienced yet another Valentine's Day, and this can mean everything or nothing depending on who you ask. I think one thing that we can all agree on though is that the media has made it into quite the huge holiday, and that naturally has made it big in the hearts of many in our society. Don't get me wrong, VDay can be a beautiful time when spent with someone that you truly care for and cherish. What makes me scratch my head though is how so many that are happily involved and loved up on somebody February 14th are solo and ready to go prior to the summertime heat. And that's what we'll try to figure out today...
VDay is ironically the official end of the "Holibae Season" and if you've read my most recent posts, you understand that this season lasts for several months. But what happens once the holibaes are over and done with? Well, I think one of three things may happen after this time: the relationship strengthens and moves to the next level, the two individuals move into an awkward stage and don't have that same spark, or the relationship simply dies altogether. With the type of passion folks go into these situations having, one would think that more of these stands the test of time. So why don't they? I have a theory or two.
My first guess as to why VDay has often become a DDay is because folks have the wrong motives. Going into the holibaes (about October through February), people are more excited at the idea of having someone bearable around to keep them warm and looking loved for the annual family gatherings. Of course this isn't the case for everyone, so let me put that disclaimer out there now for you legit lovers! But yes, some individuals seem to just be in it for the moment and the feelings it brings, for the time being. So when that clock hits midnight on February 14th, it leaves some thinking "Why am I here again..?". Once that becomes the mindset, it's all downhill from there. Shoot, by March, they're already thinking up an exit strategy! It's almost as if they're pro athletes and after they've spent a little time on a winning team that starts slacking, they're ready to take their talents elsewhere. Remind you of anyone, LeBron?
A second theory I have is that the time between lovey holidays is pretty long once we're past Valentine's Day, and this can create a type of boredom. Yes, I'm aware that we still have Easter around the corner, but I've never truly considered that a day in which I see everyone putting their baes up for display like the winter holidays. So what we're left with is this lull period where those in relationships may feel like they need a spark or some change in pace in order to keep things properly flowing. When they’re not able to match that level of intense feelings that the holibae time brings, they may deem it time to keep it moving, for lack of better words. Then we’re left seeing so many in the summer months talking about how “the vibe just wasn’t there anymore...” and this may very well be one of the reasons why.
Lastly, VDay turned DDay occurs because some people simply want their full freedom back. As simple as that may sound, it’s definitely not a stretch. Granted, a lot of times someone may care too much about your feelings to actually say this to your face, and that’s sweet. But that doesn’t change the possibility that they may be thinking it though. When you’re not married, you just always have to be prepared mentally that a person is gonna come out of left field with a change of heart. Shoot, this clearly even happens within committed marriages! So that just goes to show you how wild this world of relationships, situationships, holibae partnering, etc can be. If you notice, once folks come out of the summertime free agency looking for love, it’s just about time for holibae season to come back around. One big cycle of good times, I tell ya.
Keep in mind, this post is in by no means trying to push you away from pursuing someone you have feelings for and want to go the distance with. You should naturally want to do that, and I’m all for it. But for every time we see that being the case, we see another situation fall apart out of nowhere (ironically around the summer), and this post is meant to try figuring out why that happens. Once again, these are solely thoughts and theories from my head, and I am no professional on the matter. I don’t talk much but I do plenty of thinking, and this is the result. As always, feel free to contact me with your thoughts on the topic in question at pitts16@gmail.com and we can get the discussion moving in a positive direction. Be blessed!