The Birth of a Savage: Part 2.
Greetings Everyone,
As promised, I'm back and ready to get right back into this good ole topic of savagery. If you haven't had the chance yet, please check out my post prior to this one (The Birth of a Savage) so that you'll have some familiarity on what I'm about to discuss. We last spoke on how savage activity is born exactly and why people continue to go down that pathway rather than against it. I've received several different responses from you all regarding your personal experiences with the matter and how you went about handling it, which is what I plan to incorporate in today's post. The year is coming to a close, it's consistently cold outside, and the temptation to join SVU(Savage University) is at an all-time high. But we're better than that, right? Right! So let's get to it.
We have one goal today, and that is to give some healthy alternatives to living that savage life. So let's say you've been hurt by someone and you are now in the middle of giving out that same hurt to others. It feels good to you being able to do this because you now feel as if you hold all of the power/control and no one is going to get the upper hand on you again. Cool. Bet. While this feeling of supreme power and invincibility may act as a superhero band-aid for the moment, chances are that it isn't going to last in the big picture. Most likely, you aren't this big of a jerk that just has no care for anyone else or their respective feelings. So you're eventually going to feel internally conflicted about your decisions, and why deal with that when you don't have to?
My first example of handling the urge to be savage comes from a woman that dealt with a man that was a pro at making her feel like the bad guy, despite his actions being the ones in question. In order to shift the blame onto someone other than himself, he would twist the scenarios and make her feel guilty for everything. She ended up feeling like she could either be left or replaced due to this negative energy that covered the relationship. The crazy thing about it all is that she once had a time period within savage life and would push others away in order to not get too close. So when seeing him take on similar traits, she could recognize it and attempt having discussions about it in order to strengthen their bond/communication. Although the guy wasn't receptive to it in this particular case, she made the adult move and chose not to be savage in response to what he was doing. She said something that stood out to me pretty much saying how there was so much more to be gained in love than by pushing others away.
I think what makes the push away tactic such a popular one is that it limits the potential hurt someone new can bring in our lives. If we're honest with ourselves, we're all just a bunch of softies that want someone to show us all this good loving and affection. We want to live happily ever after picking out new Netflix shows and snacks with somebody on a weekly basis. And that's perfectly fine. But what limits us from potentially going down this path with new people is the hurt someone else smacked across our life back in the day. Then we either become hermits and stay to ourselves until the end of time or we take the other extreme route by playing with anyone else's heart that we may come across. And neither of those are ideal lifestyles, wouldn't you agree?
A second example of combating the savage life comes from a young lady that felt the effects of savage guys more often than anyone should. What's admirable about her though is that despite all of the dirt done toward her, she always chose to take the high road. The next person she chose to date would never feel the impact of the previous ones that caused her harm, which is pretty incredible. It's always so easy to just get mad at others for what someone in the past has put you through and then expect them to just deal with your moments. She told me that it was key to acknowledge the hurt so that one can process it and then officially let it go. When one chooses to keep hurtful experiences closed inside, it tends to make it that much easier for that pain to show its ugly head toward others, because it has never officially been dealt with. It's an chapter that hasn't fully been closed.
Lastly, I'm going to leave you all with a personal experience coming from yours truly! So several years ago, back when I was a young lad, I was talking to a girl. Things seemed to be going well, but as I mentioned I was a baby, so I definitely didn’t have this whole dating scene down to a science. To make a long story short, I thought that we were exclusively seeing one another, however I came to discover that she’d been taking full blown flights to see some other guy halfway across the country. Now my level of trusting others was already not as great as it could have been, but after that instance, it was safe to say I didn’t trust any women, for a good while. I grew up being more of the romantic type (being the biggest fan of 90’s r&b you’ll meet), but I just wasn’t feeling any of that anymore after feeling played. I in fact took a look at Savage University and checked out some of the programs they were offering one fall. But I ended up just going the route of not letting anyone get too close to me, because things felt better that way. I can tell you all from experience today that while this option may feel safer, it is also very limited in scope and possibilities. I’m thankful I had the experience, for educational purposes, but I know now that the keeping people out just isn’t for me. I’m back on my 90’s r&b heavy. And if I could sing, I’d be singing love songs to the point of annoyance.
I decided to make this post more about personal experiences because I felt like it would make the subject matter even more easy to relate to, as readers. In no way is this some type of blog post to keep people from ever hurting you, because that just wouldn’t be realistic. However, I’m hoping that this will at least help you with knowing how to potentially handle when someone does hurt you, and learn from others’ mistakes, including mine. There’s several other aspects of Savage University that could be covered. So feel free to contact me at pitts16@gmail.com if there’s something you’d like to see be discussed on my site in the future. Until next time though, be blessed and do right by others!
P.S. Shout out to 21 Savage wearing the same exact expression in every pic he takes!