Wants vs Needs.
Greetings Ladies and Gents,
I know it's late in the game at this point, but Happy New Year! I haven't engaged with you all since 2023, so it simply didn't feel right jumping into things without that appropriate greeting. I hope that 2024 is being a blessing to you thus far and the best is yet to come. We know why we're here though and I have a fresh topic to bring to the table. These thoughts have crossed through my mind for quite some time now, so I figured that was my cue to present it to the people. With that said, let's get right to today's quality discussion.
From what I've gathered during my time here on Earth, I'd say it's human nature to want to be liked, appreciated, enjoyed, and accepted. Yes, we come across the occasional rebels that want to be the "bad guy" out here when others think about them. They may very well have their own personal reasonings for why that's their preference. But for the most part, we living beings prefer the feeling of having someone's overall support rather than their disdain. Knowing these things, we often find ourselves editing what we say to people because we don't want it to impact their level of like or appreciation for us. Whether it be family, friends or even associates...most of us have been guilty of biting our tongues in order to preserve a relationship, or so we think.
However, what we don't keep in mind many times is that what we're fearful to express to them is exactly what they needed to hear. Truly caring about someone is going to come with some uncomfortable moments. I can speak from personal experience when a parent may have had a conversation with me regarding a situation I didn't want to hear about, but in the big picture it was for my benefit to talk about it rather than brush past it in order to maintain a certain level of comfort. It came from a place of love and ultimately wanting what was best for my life and overall development. Looking back of course, I'm thankful for those times, even if they sucked in the moment. Where we end up dropping the ball is when we're too focused on keeping things happy and smooth on the surface with people...meanwhile below the surface is a mess.
Circling back to today's title, I'm challenging you all to begin recognizing the differences between your loved ones' wants and needs. Yes, they may want you to cosign on their newest partner because that would make them feel better about their decision, but is that what they need? Don't just speak negatively about the person when it isn't warranted, but if there's red flags all over them...you're doing your loved one a disservice by not addressing it with them.
Yes, another friend may want you to agree with how much bad eating and drinking they've been doing to start the year off, because they've got so much going on in their lives it's how they cope. You can want to be sensitive to their particular circumstances, because those are very real. But at the same time you don't need to feel like you have to be a bystander as they let themselves go. Find a way to lovingly encourage them to get back on track. Maybe that includes you sending them easy meal ideas and better intake practices, that way they see you're just as committed.
Let's get to the reality of things here though. While there are those in our world that will embrace the words of constructive criticism sent their way, we know there will just as easily be those that feel disrespected and no longer want to deal with you. I know this is where many of us struggle to express those hard truths with both family and friends because there's always that fear that we may lose them based off what we felt they needed to hear. A lot of times, it can feel much safer to just let them live how they live in order to maintain the good vibes between you two rather than risking it all in order to get a valid point across. I honestly can't tell you what to do either way. What I can say is that before you make that decision to limit your genuine comments/concerns, just keep in mind what big picture harm could develop in their lives if you don't say what they need to hear.
To wrap things up, none of us intentionally want to lose a relationship with a person we care about, especially when we feel it can be avoided by keeping certain thoughts to ourselves. But that's when the pros and cons must be weighed the most. If a person removes you from their life because of hard truth serum you gave them but they ultimately utilize it down the road, was it worth it? If you never say what needs to be heard and your relationship stays strong yet they end up suffering from an avoidable dead end, is that an ideal outcome? I'm not here to answer those questions for you one way or another, however I do hope you take them into great consideration next time you have the opportunity to speak and impact someone's world, for better or worse.
