Sis, He Don't Want You.
Greetings Ladies and Gents,
I hope you're doing well and staying strong regardless of these difficult times we find ourselves in. It's truly at the point where you just have to take things a day at a time, because it feels as if a new obstacle or unfortunate event is thrown our way every morning. But regardless, waking up is a blessing in itself and I plan to make the most of each new day I'm given. That being said, let us get to the topic at hand so we can keep the dialogue going and have fun with it.
Over the last couple of posts, there has been a focus on the fellas and how they should go about with their interactions involving the opposite sex. Today I've decided to mix things up and share a bit of a message with the ladies. As important as it may be for a guy to realize when someone just isn't interested in him, I believe it's equally essential for a woman to have that same information. I've heard of too many situations that could have been avoided if the early warning signs had simply been addressed. So let's chat a bit on what exactly those signs may look like.
Ladies, I'm sure that the majority of you have been involved in a situation where you were feeling a guy but you weren't too sure if those feelings were mutual. One of the ways in which you can gather some clarity on where he stands is simply through the things he says to you. It may sound extra basic, but sometimes it really comes down to the little things. If the man never speaks to you in a manner that shows interest, attraction or even respect...then it's safe to assume he's not into you. Granted, we as men may be slower to give an overdose of emotion to a situation, but if we're feeling you it's going to at least be said. That is the minimum. Too many times a woman may overlook this lack of commentary seeing it as no big deal. But as a fellow appreciator of affirmation, I can tell you that it shouldn't be taken lightly when it's nonexistent. Pay attention to that.
Another way to realize he may not want you is through his actions...or lack thereof. Let's say you two have been kickin' it for a little while now and things feel like they're going pretty steady. However, you've recently made it known that you'd like to see a bit more effort in certain areas when it comes to how this person treats you. They're not going to get it completely right over night of course, because these things take time in order to truly change. But if ample time is going by and they've shown no signs of even wanting to do better for the sake of the situation, it's because they just don't care about the situation. It's a reality that you also have to be willing to come to terms with. You may see all the potential in the world with this guy because you deem him a looker, smart, fun to be around and all that jazz. Yet if he's not even showing you he's down to adjust the little things for you, don't keep sitting there wasting time on a dream you've seen in your head that's never going to be the reality of what y'all have.
As complicated as we want to make dating out to be, some aspects of it can be very elementary. If you pay attention enough to the things people are saying to you and the actions they do or don't take, then you have a solid chance of dealing with folks that are worth your time. What messes us up, men and women, is when we choose not to see the warning signs written all over the wall. Choosing to see what you want to see and hear what you want to hear is a dangerous slope to find yourself sliding down. Since I'm speaking directly to the ladies today, I'll just say it's time for you to leave these fellas alone just because you've envisioned a potentially great future with them but they're not pulling their weight. If they're not even showing they feel you're worth making adjustments in their life, it's because they don't see you in their life long term. Why would they change the way they've been speaking, acting or living for someone that's not even relevant to their world? Exactly.
Ladies, it comes down to having respect for yourselves. By no means am I telling you to jump ship the second a guy isn't meeting your needs in a particular way. You're not going to end up with anyone at that rate. But when you've been around a situation with a guy long enough to see he either doesn't like you much or not enough to address your concerns and work on them...that's your helpful hint right there. He can make you laugh, smell good and look nice standing next to you. Yet if you're not getting the basics of respect, effort and time...you have to learn to not want that for yourself either.
